Hello blog.
How's it hanging?
Everything good on your side of life? Please, tell me something that'll make my day. Make me smile.
What can I tell you, old friend? Sorry for not being so responsive as I sometimes wish I could've been. Life for me is going so-so at the moment. The sun can't shine all the time, right? Atleast I might be heading somewhere, instead of sitting around just for the sake of being in love with someone who isn't really healthy to be in love with in the first place. Well, things aren't really bad either. We can say that i'm recovering, but it's taking it's own jolly little time.
I finally sent those applications to them schools in the forests up north here in Sweden. Hopefully one of them will accept me so I can live in the forest for a year, learning how to grow my own food properly, how to maintain life on a small farm and such. Been around this city for far too long and even though I have some friends around here I just can't stand all the drama, the frenzy for alcohol every weekend, the stress, the fucked up state of mind that this society has brought up. I'm not gonna complain anymore about people or cities in this letter, been doing it quite alot to you, blog, and I feel that you deseve some happiness, some love from me. My old friend. You deserve to know that everything isn't despair and maddened tears of doom.
I'm taking steps towards my own so-called transformation, my big move out of this endless loop of, in my opinion, faulty situations. Or so I like to think anyways. I'm studying gardening and landscaping here in Gothenburg as a part of the journey. And I love it. I love digging in the earth, getting to know plants, flowers, bushes, trees and their names. Or the names that we, puny humans, have given them. I love going to school every day, seeing the faces of my schoolmates, hearing their voices as we make plans and dream of the future, of a different world where everything is more green and there is hope for a change in the world. I love the smell of the somewhat fresh air(which is ofcourse mixed with exhaust fumes and wet concrete) I feel every morning, I love feeling the morning dew clinging like spider web on my skin(Haha, not sure how to explain that feeling really, but you know what I mean). This education means hope to me. It means a possible positive future. It makes me dream. It makes me feel alive again. It gives me purpose and a sense of direction. It gives me the confirmation I crave, that I need, that life is more than the endless grind of drama, broken hearts, alcohol, broken lives and dreams. Proof that one can actually do some good in this world.
Yes, one could say that the sun is starting to come out. Only wish that I could learn not to fall for the wrong women, haha.
Well, blog, I guess this is it for this time. I'll get back to you in a few days or so, when I've found the time between my studies and those moments where I'm mind-gobbling myself to bits about life and how to live it. I really have to get my ass going to school.
Yours sincerely
Mattias
"Maitiú mac Faolchú"
