A tale of acrophobia.

Saturday morning, may 29th.  A hotel in Stavanger, Norway. My job had arranged a trip for everyone at work who were interested in going, which included dinners, hiking in mountains, a boat-trip in a fjord. They paid for everything. Almost.
 I awoke in my bed at 6:30 a.m, nearly devastated from the lack of sleep. First off, I do not feel comfortable staying at hotels, mostly due to the fact that I am not used to staying at hotels, since in my eyes, it is something of a luxury. And secondly, the night had been very warm. I took a quick shower, went down to the third floor to grab myself some sort of breakfast before everyone were due to leave for Preikestolen(Pulpit Rock), a huge rock formation in the norwegian fjord of Lysefjorden.
As I arrived in the dining area I became very confused of the set up, the dining area was very big, and the area designated to get your breakfast, the buffet, was equally big and I found myself being lost a few times, scratching my head not knowing where to begin. Lost in the meaning of what food to start with, as there were lots and lots of it. Well, I managed to make myself some sandwiches and then everyone was off for the ferry that was to take us to the base of the mountain where the Pulpit Rock is located.

When I came to Stavanger with my work I had no idea what I was heading into. Yeah, I had seen the Pulpit Rock on pictures and figured it would be a pretty high climb, but easily accessible. Oh my, was I wrong.
Just want to inform you all that I am insanely scared of heights, suffering from a bad case of acrophobia.

Anyways, we arrived at the base of the mountain by bus after a short ferry-trip from Stavanger. I started following my fellow co-workers up the mountain and so far everything was fine. It had been raining the whole morning, but as soon as we all started to walk up the mountain, the sun showed it's face. After a few hundred meters along the path up I started having problems, the path was narrowing, it was getting steeper and steeper and I was desperately clinging to the inside of the path. But I kept my pace, walking upwards.

Every now and then I managed to forget about the height I was ascending and even managed to enjoy my surroundings. At times I stopped to admire the view, desperately holding on to a tree, or a branch or whatever I could find. Some of the views were spectacular to say the least. Just imagine yourself climbing up a hill and when you reach the summit of that hill you are met with a sight that more or less blow you away in sheer "epic-ness".

The path was not something one could call a "proper road", at some locations it included heavy climbing over boulders for about 50-100 metres upwards, pretty steep. Sometimes it was a wooden bridge going over a swamp, or a bog. Other times one were going through small areas of trees, jumping from rock to rock. But everywhere one was surrounded by this incredible landscape, rock formations that that clearly speak of eons in age, mist caressing the tops, trees located in areas one would thought to be impossible for life to grow.
During this climb, my fear was present, but I could control it, I simply looked somewhere else, and if there were enough ground to stand on, I managed to enjoy my surroundings.

But when we started coming close to the top, at about 600 metres, this doesn't sound like much, but for a person like me it is way too much(especially if you are standing at cliffs going straight down), I started loosing control. Me and a few other co-workers came to the lats patch before the top, which is a very, very, narrow path, 600 metres up in the air, you can see straight down. At some points there is cracks where the path stops and you have to hold on to chains bolted into the mountain which you hold onto as you jump to the next platform so to speak. At some spots the path was as narrows a as 1 meter or less, not kidding. My legs started to shake here, real bad. But lucky me I have such great co-workers who helped me and cheered me on so I continued. I couldn't back down, that was impossible for me.
But after an incredibly painful and shaky last walk I made it to the Pulpit Rock, this awesome rock formation which looks like it's carved out of the mountain, made for giants to stand on. Or sit.
Acrophobia is serious business. As is any phobia. My legs were turning into jelly, gravity wanted to pull me off the cliff to a painful death, which seemed inevitable. But I did manage to crawl out to the center to sit for a few minutes with my co-workers, drank some juice and then I went back to my "safety-spot" again. I was almost choking at this time. Had sever problems with breathing and I felt myself slipping more and more out of control until one of my co-workers suggested it was time to head down. If she hadn't I probably would've died there, become paralyzed and unable to move. That is what real fear does to us.
That's how terrifying the whole experience was to me. With some supportive help from a co-worker, I managed to slowly descend the Pulpit Rock, at least the path which is the highest and the narrowest, after that I regained control and were able to more or less run down the mountain.

 
This is me, clinging to the mountain-side.

Do I regret it? Oh, no. I'm happy I did it, considering my fear of heights, I've seen one of the most beautiful views of Norway. The only thing I felt when I had managed to climb down the mountain, was shame and guilt.
Shame and guilt because I hadn't been able to enjoy it as much as my co-workers had done, because I had been so terrified. I felt beaten, even though everyone told me how courageous I was, conquering one of my worst fears. But I didn't feel "worthy" of all that praise. I felt ashamed.

But why? Why did I feel shame and guilt? Now, today when I think of it I realise how foolish it was for me to feel that way. When I instead should feel pride and happiness for being able to spit one of my greatest fears in the face.

And I do.

The water of life!

First off, a word of warning! This article is about alcohol, in the negative sense of the word. I will not preach what you should do or not do, nor will I patronize people who choose to drink alcohol. This is just my view of the consumption, not the alcohol itself. If you still want to continue reading, then please enjoy. Otherwise, thank you for your time. Why do I warn about this? Well, alcohol today, in certain areas, is a very sensitive subject to discuss. This article is a personal opinion of mine. I do not claim to speak for everyone in "our" society or the world.

Just imagine yourself coming home from work, you can finally relax in front of your TV with a newly opened cold beer in your hand. Or a couple of friends wants to meet up at the local pub.  Another friend needs a shoulder to cry on, to talk a bit, over a glass of wine or a beer.
When you hear the words summer or spring, what is the first thing you think about?  
A: Green grass? A warm sun? Naked bodies? Riding a bicycle? Taking a walk in a park? Ice cream?
B: Alcohol? Sinking a  few beers in your favourite park? Opening a bottle of wine in the sunset? Being able to sit outside the pub?
My bet is that most of you out there would think of the B-options. And why not? Alcohol makes us feel relaxed, feel comfortable in a world that is nothing but stress(almost on the verge of being chaotic). Alcohol takes away the pain one feels after a hard day at work(or the dole office). Alcohol is a good excuse to meet up with old friends, or friends overall. Alcohol is the perfect ice-breaker. And a match-maker in love. Alcohol makes us more confident and secure. Alcohol makes mourning a walk in the park. Alcohol improves your intellect. Alcohol makes us feel free. Alcohol makes us feel at home wherever we might end up. Alcohol makes us forget things we'd rather not remember. Alcohol is fun, fun, fun, fun! Alcohol is life!

Did any of you see what was wrong in what I wrote above? Nothing at all? Alright, no worries, it might come to you sooner or later. Hopefully. If you did manage to see what was wrong with the above, I suggest that you continue reading.

Our lives revolves around alcohol. We depend on it to function "normally" in this western society of "ours". It is our protection against a reality that is slowly tearing us apart. Tearing our minds and bodies asunder. It functions as an anchor.
How free are we if we can't socialize without alcohol? Is it really living, ending up on the pub every weekend(for some people everyday), you meet the same people, you hear the same stories(which may contain drama, lies, bullshit, paranoia), you drink the same beers/drinks, you throw away not only your money, but also your mental and physical health. How is it that when we want to "stress down" after a hard day, we drink a beer? Or a drink? How can things have gotten this far, this wrong, without us even noticing it? Right in front of our very own eyes!

What am I talking about? Well, think about it, alcohol is everywhere today, we are almost bathing in it. To drink alcohol regularly is considered to be normal today, it's almost mandatory. In those rare cases when someone chooses to not drink alcohol, this is more than often frowned upon and questioned, not supported. We have no idea how to behave when "sober people" are around. We become insanely nervous in their presence and decide that there is something wrong with them, for not wanting to drink alcohol.
At the same time we frown upon those who consume too much, those who become alcoholics.
But still, alcohol is related to almost everything we do. If we hang out with friends, we drink alcohol. If we want to celebrate something, we drink alcohol. If we are in a good mood, we drink alcohol. If we are depressed, we drink alcohol. Yeah, you get the picture. Alcohol is our lives, alcohol is controlling our lives.
Alcohol is not freedom.

How did we end up like this? About a hundred years ago(or more), for most people, alcohol was still something of a luxury. I mean, most people couldn't afford to drink as much as we do today. Alcohol was not as abundant as it is today. Human kind survived about 190,000 years without alcohol! Alcohol is still new to us.
How did this happen? How come today there is alcohol available everywhere, alcohol is one of the biggest businesses around the world, except for weapons, drugs, porn and food.
Those of you who are familiar with the genocide of many of the native american tribes can probably figure out what is going on, how it came to this. As I mentioned in a previous article, fear is constructed in order to control us, well, alcohol is one of their("our" governments) "solutions" to that fear. Not only is it a solution, but as with the case with money, it helps to keep us in order. "In order? Sometimes when we get drunk we go nuts!?" Well, like I wrote above, we associate almost everything with alcohol, we see it as part of our "spare time", as something to look forward to, something that helps us.  As long as we are focused on getting drunk, or "buzzed" we are harmless, passive.
The european settlers traded the native americans alcohol for valuable resources, sometimes they were forced under gunpoint to accept the alcohol, if not, there was no trade. The europeans "bought" land with alcohol under treaties which they later broke. Alcohol corrupted and destroyed countless cultures and tribes. Not only in North America, but also in South/Latin America, Africa, Asia and Polynesia(Australia and NZ included).

"As soon as the liquor trade began, colonists came to believe that it created havoc in Native communities. They were right. Indigenous and colonial observers reported that Native Americans who consumed alcohol did so only to become intoxicated. Those who became drunk fought with each other and with members of their families; they eroded the civility that normally characterized relations in indigenous communities. They fell into fires or off cliffs or drowned, and they at times murdered others, thereby opening raw wounds that communities struggled to heal."  Source can be found here.

This still goes on today, all over the world. The governments of this planet trade our freedom for alcohol. We don't have to be loyal to "our" governments, I mean, as long as we keep sucking on the bottle we have other things to think about. They have nothing to fear from us! With alcohol, we fight each other instead.
Our hate, our paranoia, our stress, our pain, our angst, our true freedom, our lives, our love is acted out via alcohol and directed towards each other. We meet many of our partners and friends while being drunk, or "buzzed". We get in most fights while being drunk. We choose to solve our personal dilemmas and issues while being drunk, making the situation(s) even worse for ourselves. We ARE alcohol!

Alright, gonna slow down a bit here. Alcohol is not the demon here, it is the consumption. We are taught our whole lives that drinking is a way of life. When we are teenagers we long for the day when we can drink alcohol legally, as if it were some "rite of adulthood" or a "passage to life".  Alcohol is everywhere. Even among those scenes(subcultures) that claim themselves to be free and independent is depending on alcohol. In some of those scenes it is considered "cool" to be drunk most of your waking time.
But yes of course, alcohol has been part of human history. But not like this.

In the old days(way back), alcohol was something of a luxury. And it was only consumed during a special holiday, or a celebration of some sort. A victory(in war), a birth, holy rites, the coming of  a season or a marriage. We can almost say that it was rare to drink alcohol in the old days. You didn't drink alcohol to have something to do, as we do today. In some(few) cultures, still today, alcohol is more or less non-existent.
We don't have to drink alcohol to survive. We don't even have to stop drinking alcohol. But we can stop drinking it the way we do today. In "our" society. Alcohol is not a solution for our problems, quite the opposite. Alcohol will never set us free, it will only strengthen the leash.
I'm not saying that we all should quit drinking, even though I can admit that it would've been for the best, I'm saying that we should pause for a minute and reflect on the impact alcohol has on our lives.
Everything we do, is connected to alcohol.

And me? I don't drink alcohol anymore. Sure, I can have one beer, perhaps two or three, but that's it. Only on special occasions, extremely rare. I am still trying to learn how to socialize without alcohol, and trust me, it is hard. Especially for someone who has grown up using alcohol as an excuse to meet people, or seen alcohol as a part of life. I have nothing against the alcohol per se, it's the consumption I have a problem with. Many of us have parents who are alcoholics, my mom was an alcoholic. She died when I was 14. And then we have the matter of friends. For several years I drank alcohol only to hang out with people, to have "fun". But in reality, I never had fun, I only became more and more depressed. As long as we drink alcohol we have tons of friends, right?  Drinking-buddies. In most cases we don't even have anything in common with each other, except for alcohol and perhaps music. But very few or no real ones. Oh, wanna loose friends? Try quit drinking for a while, it's quite amazing to see how quick about 98% of your "friends" disappear. "Bham!" Just like that. Works every time. I've tried it twice.

We are better than this.
We deserve better.

Just give it a thought.

"Hiraeth"

Ever had a feeling that no matter how many friends you're surrounded by, you are alone? When at a party or a dinner, you notice all your friends having a laugh, drinking, fighting over wich songs to put on, smiling at eachother. You notice their joy, but you cannot share it. Even though you smile back when a smile is directed towards you, or someone is cheering their beer at you, you cheer back. But there is no happiness in that smile of yours, no real joy in that cheer. You feel all alone, with your thoughts drifting away somewhere else, you know that there is something else out there, another place, another way of life. You have a constant feeling that all this is fake. Ever had that? Ofcourse you have.

Some people call this feeling a "quarter-crisis" or a "mid-crisis", when we start to ponder over the fact that we're growing old, we're about to die, we haven't achieved what we're supposed to, we have failed to answer the obligations of "our" society. You simply walk around with a feeling that everything around you is wrong. But you cannot really say what it is. More than often you might find yourself peering towards the distance, with a great longing in your heart, you want to do something, you feel that there is something else out there for you, but you can't let go. You can't leave. You'll lose friends, You'll lose your job, your home, your social security(if you're on the dole), you'll lose your "status", your band, your partner, your pet or whatever. There is always a reason not to let go.Why should you be unhappy? You've got your job, your stuff, your partner, your pet, your friends, your home. But still there is something that tells you that all this is wrong.
The ancient Celts(the Cymraeg/Welsh to be exact) call this feeling "hiraeth", it's more or less impossible to translate properly, but it kinda means that all humans have a deep longing for something, call it a sense of being homesick, but it's not even that, but something similar. We all feel that we have something else that we wish to do. That there is something else out there. Several ancient cultures, or mythologies call that feeling a "calling".

But in this society we can remedy this feeling. For a price ofcourse. If you ever have this "crisis" you can read books, or attend a course(or two) that will make you accept your situation for what it is, so you don't walk around having unrealistic dreams and hopes. We have psychologists("shrinks"), we have anti-depressives, we have alcohol and we have drugs. No need to "heed the call" so to speak when we've got all that to numben our "crisis".  I mean, we have obligations, things we have to do, we have to pay taxes, we have to work, we have to study, just imagine what would happen to this society if everyone would listen to their dreams and start reclaiming their lives? There is oil to be drilled, fish to be caught, forests to be cut down, wool to be collected, technology to be researched, money to be made. We have to get richer!

We have to make life more comfortable!

This society, in my opinion, is designed to make us forget who we really are. Trust me, and most of you out there knows this as well, we are not meant to live like this. All throughout human history, mankind has been wanderers, seekers, nomads exploring the earth. We have a free will of our own, minds to think with. But we are lead to believe that all we need in our lives is to be comfortable. Everything needs to be easy.
I mean, sure we can demonstrate on the streets, showing our contempt towards "our" governments, we can fight the police during riots. But at the end of the day, most people wanna be able to go home, to their TV's(so they can hopefully spot themselves on the news), their videogames, their computers, their sodas, their beers, their comfortable toilets, their pets, their plants, their ovens, their beds, their stuff, their stuff, their stuff. Why do you want a revolution when you still want to keep your comfortable life? Answer: We are literally brainwashed to act like this, no matter how free we claim to be. We have been brought up to think like this. That we need all that.
But we don't, deep inside we all feel it.

Do I have this feeling, this longing? This "hiraeth"?
Yes.
I've had it my whole life more or less. Sure, there have been periods when i've been able to forget about it, just living for the alcohol, not caring one bit about what was going on around me. At times, i've believed that if only I get that job, I will be able to live my life, I will be happy. Or if I get those record albums or those videogames. And it worked, for a short time. I was content and happy with my new stuff, my new job for about a month or two, sometimes it only took a few weeks. Then I would fall down on my butt again, thinking about my situation: "What the hell am I doing with my life, is this it?". But then I would find some other shiny thingie that would attract my eye, that could soothe this feeling for a moment. And I would go on like that, for years and years. But there was many a time when I could sit among my friends, drunk as I don't know what, not being able to share their happiness, not being able to share their laughs, not being able to enjoy the band that was playing on stage. Instead I could find myself gazing away at the distance with my thoughts, close to tears, knowing that there was something else out there, somewhere I had to be, that the life I was living was wrong, that everything around me was fake. I have always known. Even I started eating anti-depressives, thinking it would make my life better, and it did for a while, but I stopped eating them after a few months, for deep inside I know that it's not a solution. We have to open our eyes and live our lives. Alcohol, anti-depressives, drugs, tobacco, political ideologies, violence, artifical realities cannot save us or replace that feeling of longing that most of us have.

The lives most of us are living ARE FAKE.

Some of us can manage to supress this feeling pretty well and adjust themselves to living within this society of "ours". Work, eat, consume, get drunk, fuck, sleep, die. But for a price. Angst, depression, loneliness, hopelessness, forever wondering what's out there, fear, life-long medications, therapy and the list goes on and on and on.

Ever wondered why some people travel to India to "find themselves"? Ever wondered why some people decide to just "drop it all" and relocate themselves to the deep forests, to live in a cave? Ever wondered why some people one day leave everything to travel the world? Ever wondered why some people seem to have a certain "glow" in their eyes? Ever wondered why some people begin with spiritual "mumbo-jumbo", a.k.a paganism, bhuddism, shamanism, alternative religions or beliefs? Ever wondered why some people wishes to leave this society? Ever wondered why some people sneer or quietly grin at your political propaganda, or laugh in your face when you tell them that they have to do this and that?
Because they know. They know that all this around us is fake, that it is wrong. So they go out to pursue their dreams, no matter what the cost, and trust me, this society is designed so that if you do that, you are doomed to "fuck up". In this society you do not stray from the rest of the sheep without paying a high price. But these people don't care. They know that life is more than that. They know that taking risks, taking chances is part of life. Every hinder, every obstacle that stands in their way, will teach them something and they simply walk around it, climb over it, or smash right through it.
They have or are reclaiming their lives.

But what are we meant to do then? What is our "salvation"? Can we find it? Can we find life? Ofcourse we can, but we cannot find it in this society of "ours", where capitalism is the master.
I cannot tell you what we are meant to do or what you can do for yourself. Only you know what to do about your situation. Most of us know deep inside what we can do. But we must dare to let go. To let go of our prejudices, our fears, our brainwashed mentality that we "need" so much to survive. We need to let go of ourselves in order to become free, to become what we are. Humans.

Some cultures call this a "cleansing".

Reclaim your life and live, damn it, live!

A necessary evil?

Technology, do we really need it for our survival? I know this is a subject a lot of people laugh at, saying "ofcourse we need technology, it makes our lives easier and more comfortable". When I hear comments like that I see before me a scene from the movie WALL-E, when inside the human spaceship and we discover the truth of what has happend to mankind. Everyone is a floating blob of fat(sorry for spoilers). And considering the direction of how things are going today, this is very likely to happen.

I mean, with all this technology, in my opinion, we loose our basic skills for survival. I mean, how many of us, if dropped in the middle of nowhere, say a forest, can survive for more than a few days? I know I can't, but I would love to learn. I can make a fire, but that's about it.

No, I am not excactly fond of all this luxurious technology that literally chokes us in our everyday lives, and still, here I sit using the internet? We are all hypocrites, one way or another.

I can agree that internet is good for creating networks, contacts, spreading information, finding out about events and such, but that's it for me. I use it only as a necessary evil. Or try to atleast. I really do hope that when I finally bail out of this society of "ours" I will be able to leave a lot of this technological "bullshit" behind, I simply disapprove of it's existence.

So, what do I want? Do I want us to go back to the stone age, where we all sat around fires poking eachothers heads with sticks? Might've been fun, but no, I do believe that some inventions might be good, but 90-95% of all inventions are a waste of resources(and even disastrous), "crap" as we might call it, that we do not really need for our survival.

First off, we do not need cars, we do not need airplanes, we do not need ipods/phones, cellphones, comptures and such, yeah you get my picture. I mean, so much human skill is lost with all this technology. I remember when I was a kid I drew all the time, or wrote by hand, long letters to friends(or penpals as we called them back then ha ha) I had all over Sweden, I remember me and my friends we were outdoors, exploring the forests, building huts and such. And if we wanted to meet up with someone, we used a phone that was attached to the wall, called that person, decided on a place where and when to meet, and if someone was late, we waited.

Today, if we don't get a hold of a person withing the next 10 seconds we go crazy, almost insane. And what does kids today do,(not all, but many), they grow up infront of their computers, in a world that is becoming more and more superficial and artificial. We are letting ourselves become controlled by all this technology, we rely too much on it. This is not only stupefying, but also dangerous, not only to us, but also to our environment, nature, mother Earth. We loose ourselves this way.

But here comes another paradox of mine, technology when it comes to dental care and medical care can be good, since it saves lives, only wish it could've been cheaper, or even better, for free. Here we could easily fall into another subject, money, but I will leave that for another day...

Thinking and twisting.

So, i've talked a lot about freedom, reclaiming ones life and following ones dreams. But how do you achieve it? How do you really let go? What does it really mean? Is my way the solution for everyone?
First off: We all know when, how and if to let go. To break free.
All we have to do is to listen to ourselves, be honest with ourselves. Take a chance, a risk or two. And if someone tells you what you wish to do is impossible, or you feel that you can't do it in fear of what others might think, then screw them. It's your life, you make the decisions, not the people around you.
Ofcourse it won't come easy, you'll probably have to sacrifice quite a lot, and it might take some time before you finally reach your goal, but if you're persistent/stubborn enough, you'll be able to do it. There is nothing called "impossible". Never forget that our lives is one long learning process. If you hit a wall, or get knocked down, learn from it, get up and walk around it, or simply break it down. Mistakes are there to be learned from, same with hardships. It's called "life".

The key is to be open-minded.

Some of us end up alone along the way, friends disappear since they have no clue of what you're talking about when you try to explain to them what you're doing. Or they just refuse to listen.
Changing and pursuing ones dreams, and going on your path is not an easy decision. It's hard, mentally, but in the end it'll be worth it.
In my situation, these past 6-7 months since I decided to finally let go, I've come in contact with several people who are in the same situation. I've opened my eyes and finally seen who are truly my friends and who aren't. I've given up a lot, but i've also gained a lot. Insight, especially. I mean, when I decided to let go of everything, several new doors have opened up for me. I know what to do and how. The world is full of opportunities. Am I scared? Ofcourse i'm scared, I sit from time to time wondering what the hell i'm doing. But that's life.

Now i've started doing things I haven't done since I was a kid. I walk around in the forests where I currently live, I explore, I climb "mountains", or hills, I cross small rivers, even though I might end up soaking wet and covered in mud I laugh about it. Right now i'm even learning how to play the irish tin whistle. I'm doing things again. I'm learning things again. I'm starting to live again.
It feels so nice to finally breathe again. For several years I did nothing whatsoever. I didn't learn anything. I simply wasn't interested. I had a severe depression for years and years(I wasn't even aware of it, until in december 2009 when a "shrink" told me). I wasn't interested in my friends, nor were they interested in me. I did things by routine, I drank alcohol, went to punk rock shows or just stayed at home playing computer games, since that's what I knew. That was my false sense of security. And I hated it. Every second of it.

But now when i've started to live again, can't I just stick around? Still keep my job and perhaps find myself a suitable wife, learn how to drive, get a pet, a house of my own?
No, it doesn't work like that. When I finally get out of this, I cannot possibly come back, not in a very long time atleast. I simply don't want to. I don't want to live in this society. I want to follow the wind, bound by none or nothing. And I will do it, in a way i'm already there.
I'm reclaiming my life and i'm doing it for good.

There is no past, there is no future, there is only now.

Fear! Fear! Fear!

All our lives we run around being scared, frightened, spooked. Scared of being murdered, raped, mugged(robbed), physically abused, fooled, tricked, neglected, forgotten, hated, despised, hurt, laughed at, poor, homeless, jobless, childless, lonely. We are simply scared into oblivion, especially in this western society of "ours".
What we do not understand, we fear and alternatively hate. If we do not agree, we fear it and cast it aside. Change is fear. Life is fear. There is always someone out to hurt us. We cannot trust anyone.
That's what we are told atleast.
"Do not talk to strangers", "Do not pick up hitchhikers", "Do not recieve gifts from strangers". Does it ring a bell? Ofcourse it does. All our lives we've heard these phrases. And we have all learned on the TV via movies and the news what happens if we do break these "sacred" rules. This is propaganda, brainwashing. What they are basically saying is that we should all stick to ourselves, that your business is your business alone. This refrains us from helping eachother. We isolate ourselves even though we are surrounded by millions and millions of people who are in the same situation. We create security in gadgets. We're taught to do this from birth, because there is always an enemy, a murderer, a rapist etc.
When we're children there is the monster underneath the bed, in the closet, and the stranger lurking in the bushes. When we grow up there is the terrorist/freedomfighter, in the 50's it was the communist, there has always been a "boogey-man", wether it has been a "savage", a french, a german, a heathen, a christian, a muslim, an american, a north-korean, there is always someone, as we have been told, out to hurt us, to kill us, to take away everything that we hold dear.
And this mentality never lets go. It infects all "layers" of society, all subcultural groups use this fear to seal themselves off. There is always an "us and them". There is always someone to blame. To hate, to laugh at, to spit at, to despise and to fear. Your closest friend might be your next enemy.
This fear is not natural. It is created, we all know that. It is easier to control a bunch of sheep that is scared and crying for help, than to control a pack of wolves who are confident, secure and independent.
We are stripped of our confidence at birth, same with our independence. We are made scared so we have to depend on our governments, "our" society for safety and protection, and it's not even us it protects in the first place, it protects the elite from us. Holds us in place. With fear. And it works, astonishingly well. Everyone buys it.
They create the fear, the murderers, the rapists, the wars they so highly warn us of. They? Governments, religious institutions, multinational corporations, banks, capitalists in general to keep their interests running. The money must flow. Power must be maintained. And to be able to do what they want, even before our very own eyes, they create this fear to keep us in check. They create the problem and they offer a solution, for a price.

But, what if we one day would just let go of this fear? Opened up our eyes and realised that all this fear around us isn't real? Yes, there are murderers, rapists and robbers out there, but they themselves are created in a world that is not real. The world is upside down.There is no "us and them", there is only "us".
What if we one day would stop a stranger on the street and tell that stranger that we trust her/him? That we offer our help, in any way we can? What if we for once stopped complaining and just decided to walk out of the job we hate so much, to reclaim our lives? What if we one day pulled over and picked up that wet, hungry hitchhiker sitting by the road, even though he's male, shaggy and bearded? What if we just for once trusted our guts instead of the headlines? What if we for once took a last look at our apartments, our things, our gadgets, our cars, and just left, walking out into the wilderness, creating a whole new life for ourselves? What if we one day just decided to quit smoking, decided to quit drink alcohol, decided to quit using money?

What if we all would just let go? There are hundreds or thousands of people out there doing it right now, thousands more have already done it. People are slowly waking up.
Another way of life IS possible.

Resting my weary feet...

So, here I am, in München, Germany after having rushed through Austria and north eastern Italy in about a week. My feet feels like two clogs of lead and i've lost about 700 euro of income for taking a week off from work. But was it worth it? Hell yes! Every minute of it. I mean, i've hitchhiked, slept in the open beneath the stars, camped on a mountain, stayed for free in an austrian house in the alps and also hostels. Even though it has rained most of the time, leaving me soaking wet(the biggest reason to why I ended up on hostels, except for in Venice where it was more or less impossible to find a place to sleep outdoors, I mean the place is a rock, sorry, many rocks), sometimes I had to sit on my ass for countless hours along the road hoping to get picked up. But it was definitely worth it.
What I lost in material income, I have gained in personal experience and spirit. I've met the most amazing people throughout my speedy journey. Like on monday, I got picked up by this Austrian couple who drove me from Radstadt to Villach via the mountains. The trip ended up with them inviting me for a vegetarian dinner on an Italian restaurant just outside Villach before letting me go. And oh, they presumably have a place in India where they live from time to time and they invited me to come there, work a bit for some food and accomodation. So, India, here I come, presumably next year sometime. Not only that, we also shared an incredible conversation about life, hope and following ones dreams, wich has left me with a lot of insight and positive thoughts. And last night I met this japanese guy who had been travelling nonstop since 2007, he had been working and travelling New Zealand and Australia for three years to able to come here to europe. Haha, he had a male friend that he was gonna marry in Spain so that he could stay here(he wasn't gay, nor was his friend, but a fun and smart thing to do) for longer than 3 months. We also exchanged ideas and thoughts about travelling nonstop and it felt great meeting him. He also gave me a tip about an organic farm in Japan if I would ever go there. Hopefully one day I will.
What can I say so far? Venice was incredibly beautiful(but insanely expensive and tourists everywhere), but it doesn't beat the alps, oh my oh my, there we can talk about dropping jaws. It was the most impressive "thing" I have ever seen so far. Tomorrow I go back to Norway.

Can't wait to see what Africa will be like when I get there in august.